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Keep Looking Forward

I haven't published anything lately, but I have about 10 posts in 'draft' stage right now. I am weary to post what I'm about to, but like I've said before this is therapy for me so here goes.

As many know, Coach and I were building a home. A beautiful home that would house our family for years to come. I've even posted pictures of the progress on this blog before. I described in that blog the trouble we've had trying to purchase a home and how it all seemed to fall apart so this home could come together for us.

Apparently, this was not 'the one' either..

Early December, I found out my student loans reported to the credit bureaus incorrectly and in turn had dropped my credit score by almost 200 points.  Our lender, who has done more than I think anyone else would have, told us we could fight it through him, pay a nice little chunk of change and get the results of the dispute back in about a week. That or we could dispute it on our own and it take 60 to 90 days. We decided to pay the money, that way we'd know the status of the house and get my credit fixed as soon as possible. I was sick waiting on those 7 business days.

We got the official scores back on a Friday, they were MUCH better but wasn't back to where they were or needed to be. In fact, it was 2 points lower than what mortgage lenders will give a home loan for. Those 2 little points are haunting me.

We tried to get the loan in just Coach's name, but because of the amount of student loans and our new-ish truck we're paying on, we are unable to that also.

Three weeks ago, we got our deposit back from the builder and walked away.

I find myself heartbroken about this, a lot. We did everything "right". We went to college and got a phenomenal education. We married and each have incredible jobs. We budgeted every penny and saved more money than I've ever saved before with the intent on purchasing a home. And for what? We keep getting told no. Over and over. It's incredibly discouraging to feel the rug pulled from beneath you again and again.

Coach has been my rock, in more ways than I could ever imagine at this point in our life together. I've had moments where I just start crying, uncontrollably. I am now as I put this all down in writing. I wouldn't blame Coach for being upset with me for this falling through, but I can honestly say there was one moment where he was upset. After that, he just said "What happens, happens." I don't think I would have been the same to him sadly. It was my credit I didn't keep close enough eye on to see when something was wrong and when I found it, it was too little too late to fix some of it. He's done nothing but tell me things happen for a reason.

We've decided to just keep plugging away, saving more money and waiting until God points us in the right direction. I've always struggled with being out of control with my situation, and this is a demon I face daily. One day, I hope to realize that just because my plan is one thing that God likely has another and laughs at my 'plan' as he shows us the real one. And that's where we are today.


  1. Keep your chin up love bug! It will happen soon. When the time is right, the house you find will be even more of 'the one' than this last one!

  2. God gives you only what you candle handle love. That home was obviously not YOUR home. You two will come across a better home and for whatever reason this one didn't work out will be worth it at the end. HUGS!!

  3. Love you girl, remember what I said about Plan A and Plan B! Praying for new opportunities for Kyle, a home and much more :)


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